I literally cringe when I hear people talk about virginity being a gift to your husband.
I am sorry but I do not believe that a woman’s virginity is to a man. And this is not another feminism rant because for the men of my generation, anything that does not appeal to them is a feminist rant, even thoughts that we would think is common sense.
This is a very logical conclusion.
Now, let me explain.
Your virginity or more accurate your abstinence – in case you have erred previously – should be in order to please God, not because you want to present it to a man on your wedding day.
I also fell into this trap but I was soon to discover that that is a wrong motivation for advocating abstinence till marriage. It cannot help you and it would make you compromise in the long run.
Let me shock you in case you have not heard it before. Most men don’t even want virgins these days. They have different reasons.
Some say virgins are proud and she will ride it on your head all your life how you met her a virgin if you do anything wrong.
Others say virgins are boring and they want a woman with experience.
Some say they do not want to experience the difficulty of having to deflower her.
If you were keeping your virginity for your husband, you might as well go find one man now to deflower you before you fall in love with one guy and he says he doesn’t want it.
This here is the reason many women compromise their stand because their reason is faulted in the first place.
Also, this is the reason people have associated virginity to women because it is after all a woman’s gift to her husband and not a man’s gift to his wife.
This is the reason why a lady would lose herself when a guy threatens to leaves or when he says, “I want to know if you are fertile, so you have to get pregnant before marriage.”
People would, of course, tell you here that after all, he is the man you want to marry. I mean, if he is the one you want to “gift” it to, why wait? What is the difference between before and after when he is the husband?
Can you see where I am driving at?
Your reason is very important. Why am I buttressing this? When you think it is because of a man, you would likely change your principles to suit him.
If you want to keep yourself, make pleasing God your reason.
21/11/2021 at 5:14 PM
So basically you’re saying go make love and make sure it’s the last time. Actually being a virgin as a woman tells a man about herself without using experience or words more. Virgins are more strong willed than girls with expensive
So everything you said is wrong and very inaccurate
28/11/2021 at 8:48 AM
No, actually, I’m saying make sure the reason you are keeping yourself is right. Don’t do it because of men because your expectation might be cut short. And even if it wouldn’t, keeping yourself for somebody is always a bad idea. Whatever that person does or says as regards to you keeping yourself will affect how you react. If you do it for you and because you want to honour God with your body, however, you are more likely to stay on course.
01/05/2017 at 3:40 PM
May i bear my mind on your post, firstly having the notion that most men dont want virgins, is false, i for instance would love to have a virgin as a wife, but wont go about looking for one, if God gives me one, fine, if not, so be it. You were right to say virginity is not a gift to a woman’s husband. May i add that it is a privilege for her husband. If you see a man who says he doesnt want a virgin for any reason, then you have found a man with microscopic spiritual intelligence
02/05/2017 at 1:39 AM
Well, I said most men, not all men. That you like virgins doesn’t discard my view. I have heard a lot of times when men say it. On the other hand, my position is not to discourage women from keeping their virginity and I think that’s clear, I only want them to make sure their motive is right. The only way you can keep yourself in purity is if you understand that the purpose is to live a life pleasing to God.