Every relationship has its shares of ups and downs. So, it is normal to experience times when things don’t seem too rosy but if you are experiencing more downs than ups, it might be time to take a step back and assess the situation.
However, sometimes, it might be difficult to know what to look out for. That is what we’ll be discussing; the signs your relationship is suffering to help you see what needs to be addressed in your relationship.
SIGNS YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS SUFFERING
When two people are in love, it is normal that they will always want to be around each other. however, when both of you prefer to spend time with others than with each other, there is a problem.
Of course, “me” time is very important and encouraged in every relationship; you should both have a life outside of each other. You should have friends and family that you spend time with, hobbies, interests; career and business goals, and also the time you might wish to spend alone.
However, if you enjoy all these more than you enjoy being with your partner or when you are with your partner, you wish you were anywhere but there, there is a huge problem.
Distance could be permanent or temporary and it could be caused by your partner or restlessness within yourself. For instance, if you are not progressing in your career or you feel you should be doing more than you are, it could make you distance yourself from your partner.
The main thing is to find out why you feel the way you do or why both of you are spending less time together, so you can find a solution.
No relationship can survive without effective communication and when I say effective communication, I am not just talking about communicating to settle conflicts.
The reason I am clarifying this is that often when people hear of communication, they think of settling misunderstandings and conflicts.
However, communication in any relationship cuts across both the serious and the not-so-serious conversation. If you are and your partner stops communicating – even if it is the funny memes you send each other when you are apart – it is one of the signs your relationship is suffering.
It doesn’t, however, mean the relationship is doomed. You just have to start communicating better today; you don’t have to wait for your partner.
Don’t hesitate; send that joke you saw on social media, tell your partner those ‘silly’ things you usually tell each other today and you will be inspiring your partner to respond.
On the other hand, you have a more serious problem in your hands if you are not listening to each other and you are just trying to one-up the other when having conversations or resolving issues.
You have to ask yourself if the relationship is more important than being right. If your answer is in the affirmative, then start listening to understand your partner instead of trying to drive your own point.
Breakup/Separation/Divorce Constantly Comes Up
This obviously means the relationship is hanging by a thread. And for a relationship to get to this stage, it is most likely on the brink of collapse.
Most times, when people ask for breakup/separation/divorce, their partner thinks it is sudden, but it is not usually that sudden.
The partner that asked have been chewing on it for quite a while. No break up of a relationship or marriage comes suddenly.
If you or your partner starts thinking of breaking off the relationship, if the issues are left unresolved, it is only a matter of time before it actually happens.
Once breaking up the relationship crosses your mind, that is the right time to see if the relationship can be salvaged by having an honest conversation with your partner.
All couples argue and quarrel. You are bringing two people together from different backgrounds, there is bound to be conflict.
However, if a couple are constantly arguing, especially over the same issue and there never seems to be a resolution, that is a cause for alarm.
Different quarrels can spring up over the course of your relationship but constant quarrels over the same thing is a sign of an unhealthy relationship and you need to nip it in the bud before it grows into an unsalvageable situation.
Both of you need to ask yourself why that issue is recurring and you both have to make compromises if it is something you can sacrifice for the relationship to be healed. Or it could mean that you are wrong for each other.
Either way, an honest conversation is in order.
Trust is not that easy to build or earn but if there has been a breach, it is even more difficult to rebuild. So, it is better that there is no breach at all.
But we cannot deny that sometimes, in relationships, certain things happen that can betray one’s trust.
And if that happens and is left unresolved, it can lead to constant mistrust, which will always choke the life out of a relationship.
If you are in a relationship where insecurity and mistrust reigns, that relationship will struggle to survive.
So, you have to ask yourself if that mistrust is warranted, as a result of a past betrayal or your past. When you find the answer, you will know the way forward.
READ MORE: HOW TO REBUILD TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP
Resentment doesn’t start in a day; it is usually a pile-up of issues in a relationship that leads to resentment. It could be that the person is constantly abused, unhappy, feels dismissed, unheard, or lonely.
All these can be as a result of a number of reasons but if one person is dissatisfied over certain issues and doesn’t voice them out, they can pile up to cause resentment.
The best way to avoid resentment is to always communicate your feelings. Remember that your feelings are valid. And if you feel any type of dissatisfaction in your relationship, tell it to your partner so you can both find a solution to it.
No relationship is a bed of roses. Even relationships that one would consider healthy might have gone through their share of conflicts.
ALSO READ: SIGNS YOU ARE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
So, if you see these signs in your relationship, it doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed and heading for the rocks.
These points are simply to show you the signs your relationship is suffering, so you can go back to the drawing board and see what can be repaired or if there is anything worth repairing.