Wanting to be loved and having a companion comes naturally to most of us and it is nothing to be ashamed of. But it is one thing to be loved genuinely and another thing to think we are loved genuinely.
Most relationships start sweet and rosy and the couple are usually in love with each other. But sometimes, things go sour and while we expect that people speak out when they feel it, sometimes, they don’t. Most men did not grow up talking about their feelings, so when they are tired and have given up on the relationship, they might still hang around.
However, nobody wants their partner to be with them out of obligation or because they are reluctant to talk about how they really feel. I’m sure you will want to know if he has given up on the relationship; these tips will help you.
He Spends More Time Alone Or With Others Than With You
No denying the fact that it is healthy to spend some time apart from each other, absence, after all – they say – makes the heart grows fonder but then, when your man starts spending quality time with others outside of the relationship and doesn’t include you, that’s a huge warning sign that probably, he has given up on the relationship. In all sincerity, there are moments in a relationship when both parties just want their space to think things through and evaluate situations but it must be structured and a timeline must b placed on it because the less time they both spend with each other, the greater the communication chasm.
The Tone Of Speech Changes
How does he speak to you now compared to how he does before? Once he’s no longer interested in you, he will likely drop the endearments and go back to calling you by name. Also, he might become sarcastic where he was teasing before; he might become short-tempered where he was patient in explaining before and he might take things out on you, whether you caused the situation directly or not. These are all signs that he might be done with the relationship.
The Little Things Stop
Remember how he used to pick up flowers for you on his way back from work? Or how he would always bring back a souvenir from his business trips? Or how he would always pop into your place of work during lunch hours to grab a bite with you? All those little things that matter to you will suddenly cease and with time, stop completely if he’s no longer interested in you and best believe that he’ll always look for excuses while he’s no longer doing those things.
You know how both of you used to enjoy your companionable silence? Well, if you notice that the silence around you both becomes awkward and tensed, you might want to start considering that he has given up on the relationship. Also, you find that you are the one always bringing up things to discuss or forcing conversations to occur because he is distant and therefore, has little or nothing to contribute.
From 50/50 To 80/20
If you discover that your man isn’t sharing responsibilities with you as he used to, does not reply to text messages on time until when he is chanced, does not meet up for dinner as you all usually do, then something is wrong somewhere. Action, they say, speaks louder than words, therefore, when he starts drawing back from doing the normal ‘stuff’ you both do and always giving excuses, then you might want to take notice. In essence, once you start feeling as if you’re the one literally carrying the weight of the relationship, he may not be interested anymore.
The Magic Phrase Disappears
Once the exchange of “I love you” in relationships disappear, there is usually something wrong. In fact, the reduction of it shows that the relationship is in crisis. When you are ALWAYS the first to say you love him – especially if that wasn’t the case before – and he is usually reluctant to say it back when you do, he is already out of the relationship, he is just there to keep the peace.
He’s Emotionally Detached
Your partner may not be one of those who stop saying the ‘L’ word or stops taking you out, he may still be doing all those little things and still spend time with you like before but he might be doing all those out of a sense of responsibility, out of rote. It becomes merely mechanical rather than enjoyable and spontaneous. He might be delaying walking out on you for many reasons but he’s definitely not into you as he was initially. For this type of man, the fact that he is emotionally unavailable will be subtle but you can still figure it out if you are carefully observant. And sometimes, you will just know in your guts.
He Asked For Space
This is probably the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Once your man has the dreaded conversation of wanting space to think and revaluate, there is a greater chance that he might just not be coming back into that relationship. Asking for space is never a good sign in a relationship; if he does, it might be his subtle way of letting you know he has given up on the relationship.
Relationship is hard work and not all bed of roses. It takes two to tango, takes two to make things work. If your man is exhibiting some or all the signs listed above, most likely, he has given up on the relationship. Remember, however, not to jump the gun by breaking things up because you recognize these signs in your man, have a conversation addressing these issues before making a decision.