There are different levels to being in a toxic relationship; being with a partner who is a narcissist is actually way up there.
The difficulty with dating a narcissist is that they are very slick. So, while we all know better than to date a narcissist, it is very difficult to identify them if you are not familiar with the signs.
What are the signs that you are dating a narcissist?
- They Lack Empathy
Partners in a relationship are supposed to care about each other, so much that they feel what the other is feeling.
In fact, they should generally be sensitive to other people’s feelings or it is a huge red flag.
Narcissists, however, are so selfish, they only care about themselves. If you are with a partner who doesn’t care that you are sad or unhappy, you should definitely flee.
- They Are Vain
At first glance, it might seem like confidence. But after a while, it is clear that they are just obsessed with themselves.
It is important to have self worth, but when someone is obsessed with their looks and their self-importance, they are most likely narcissistic.
This kind of people feed off compliments; they are always talking about how great they are and fishing for compliments from others.
- They Are Controlling
Narcissists believe that they are the best in everything. As far as they are concerned, they do better than others at everything.
Therefore, they feel entitled to be in control. They usually don’t listen to anybody and want everybody to listen to them.
In fact, they feel offended if they don’t get to be in control; whether they are deserving of it or not.
- You Are Always At Fault
A narcissist is never at fault. So, if you are dating a narcissist, you will always be at fault. They feel they are perfect and have nothing to apologise for.
Being with a narcissist will make you feel unheard and misunderstood. They are very smart though and so, they can easily manipulate you into thinking you are the one at fault even when you aren’t.
They never take responsibility for anything and you will always feel like you have to take responsibility for anything wrong in the relationship.
- They Are Inconsistent
Narcissists are always looking for someone to control, and so they can change their attitude towards you based on the circumstances at hand.
You are never sure with them because they are not consistent.
They treat you badly because that is their default setting. However, if they notice you are pulling away, they panic and start doing all the right things.
And when they notice you have gotten comfortable, they go back to their default setting.
- They Always Pick On You
You might think they are actually teasing you; and at first, you might see it as teasing. However, after a while, you see it for what it is.
They enjoy putting people down because it makes them feel good about themselves, so they pick on you, criticise you and just generally make you feel bad about yourself.
And the sad part is that if you continue in that situation, you might start to believe their criticism. They are masters of emotional abuse.
- They Don’t Define The Relationship
It is not strange to find them dancing around defining the relationship. This is why many players are narcissists.
Since narcissists care simply about themselves, they find it hard to properly commit to a relationship.
This is not limited to romantic relationships only; it happens with platonic relationships as well and that is why they usually lack long term friends.
They enjoy the benefit of being in a relationship but they are not willing to put in the same effort that comes with making a commitment to the relationship.