THINGS TO REMEMBER AT THE BEGINNING OF A RELATIONSHIPJanuary 2, 2020
The beginning of a relationship is probably the most important time in any relationship because the culture that you start at the beginning will largely set the pace for the relationship.
A lot of people, however, make mistakes at the beginning of the relationship because they are usually in what is called the “honeymoon stage” and reality might not have set in by then.
I believe many of us get into relationships with the hope that it will last long or even forever. This is why it is important to note certain things to remember at the beginning of a relationship.
What are the things to remember at the beginning of a relationship?
- Set Healthy Culture:
It is very normal for people in relationships to set cultures and patterns that they will not be able to handle long term due to the excitement of a new relationship.
You might end up doing things that you didn’t expect to be permanent or you didn’t agree to because, at the beginning of the relationship, you were trying so hard to impress your partner.
And then when reality sets in, you become uncomfortable and your partner might protest this discomfort and interpret it as you changing or you beginning to take them for granted because you have gotten comfortable in the relationship.
According to a popular Nigerian saying, “don’t start what you cannot finish.”
Make sure whatever you are doing at the beginning is something you can actually keep up, as harmless as they seem.
Yes, do nice things for each other but if you cannot keep it up, make it once in a while instead and do not make it a culture.
It is important that your partner stays with you knowing who you are than because of a false idea that you painted.
- Don’t Lose Your Individuality:
Another thing to remember at the beginning of a relationship is not to lose your individuality.
It is very easy to lose yourself in a new relationship because you are so excited you make your life completely revolve around your partner.
Many people lose touch with friends, stop pursuing their dreams, slack at work because they are trying to put their all into the relationship.
The sad thing is that at the beginning, you do not realise what harm this causes until after a while into the relationship.
Don’t lose what makes you you; what makes you unique.
Keep your friends, stay in touch with family, keep working hard and pursuing your dreams. While you do have to make time for your relationship as well, remember to balance it all.
This is so you don’t look back after a few months and realise you don’t have a life outside of your partner.
- Watch Out For Red Flags:
I usually advocate for a period of intentional friendship before starting a relationship.
I believe when people realise they are interested in someone, they should make time for a little time of friendship to get to know the person better.
But that is me and I agree it is not always realistic. So, if this is not the case with you, you will have to watch out more carefully for red flags.
Once you start dating, the tendency to let things slide and make excuses for the person is higher.
Watch out for inconsistency, pride, dishonesty, lack of integrity, emotional or physical abuse and unfaithfulness amongst others.
Of course, your partner is not perfect and will display their imperfections but there are certain behaviours expected of decent human beings or certain personal values you shouldn’t compromise.
The beginning of the relationship is the right time to watch out for them.
- Be Intentional About Spicing Up Your Relationship:
While you are making sure not to set unhealthy patterns, one of the things to remember at the beginning of a relationship is to set healthy culture that makes for a healthy relationship.
From the start, be intentional about spicing up your relationship.
Don’t be comfortable with monotony so you don’t get bored or lose touch of each other.
- Communicate Effectively:
It is important to communicate effectively at the beginning of a relationship.
Many people spend the beginning of their relationship joking around. While that is important, don’t forget the place of meaningful conversations to get to know each other better.
If you don’t find it easy communicating, you should read up on how to communicate effectively in a relationship.
- Make Your Deal Breakers Clear:
It is very easy to gloss over your deal breakers and not make it very clear because you don’t want to scare the person away.
But it is important to make your deal-breaker clear to your partner from the start.
The reason for this is so they know whether they want to continue the relationship or they want to move on.