It might sound like a cliché when people say your marriage can make or mar you but when you speak to women who married the wrong men, you will see that this is not even said enough.
The truth is when we are dealing with human beings; you cannot totally figure them out. However, most times, there are obvious red flags that we sometimes ignore because we are in love or we want to get married.
And sometimes, we don’t even realise that the relationship is not healthy because we cannot even recognise the issues.
While men also make this mistake, you will agree with me that it is prevalent among women to not recognise or to ignore clear warning signs.
This is why I have come up with warning signs he is not the one you should marry. If you see any of these signs in your man, he is not the one you should marry.
- You Are Not Sure He Loves You Or Wants To Marry You
If a man loves you and wants to marry you, you will know. If you are in doubt, there is a high chance it means he doesn’t want to. However, to be completely certain, you can ask him and encourage him to be honest. You don’t want to be married to someone who feels compelled to marry you but someone who actually wants to marry you because while it might satisfy you temporarily, you want a long-lasting happy relationship. And only someone who actually loves you and wants to be with you can make that happen. If you are not sure of your place in his life, don’t force it.
- There Is No Emotional Connection
Emotional connection is very important in a relationship and for the survival of a marriage. I know you were probably expecting signs that are focused mainly on the attitude of the man to you but it could also be your disposition towards the relationship. In an ideal world, we will all be in a relationship where there is a form of emotional connection but we all know that is not how it works all the time. If you are not feeling it, if something is missing, you probably shouldn’t be getting married. However, you should find out why you feel the way you do before making a decision.
- You Are Not Attracted To Him
On the other hand, if you don’t feel a physical attraction to him or vice versa, he is not the one you should marry. Physical intimacy is very important in a marriage; don’t underestimate it. You should want to be intimate with the man you are marrying; it cannot be overemphasised.
- He Is Unfaithful
This is obvious; you shouldn’t be in a relationship with a man who is unfaithful to you and you should definitely not be thinking about marrying him. Don’t fall into the trap many women fell into where they assumed that marriage can change anybody. In fact, any problem you have in your relationship will be magnified in marriage. If he cannot be faithful as a boyfriend, he wouldn’t be faithful as a husband. Marriage doesn’t cure unfaithfulness.
- He Doesn’t Respect You
Every human being deserves to be respected. If your partner is not respecting you now, they won’t respect you in marriage. And who wants to be married to someone who constantly disrespects them? There is no way you can be happy in that situation.
- He Is Abusive
Most times, when we talk about abuse, people mistake it for physical abuse but abuse can be emotional. Emotional abuse is more subtle and so, more difficult to detect. But emotional abuse is as damaging as physical abuse. While you know you shouldn’t be with a man who is abusing you physically, you should also not be considering marrying a man who is emotionally abusive to you or emotionally unavailable. If you are being insulted, constantly put down, disrespected, made to feel small, you are being emotionally abused and you should flee.
- He Wants To Change You
No one of us is perfect and we should constantly strive to achieve perfection. However, while we are on our journey to bettering ourselves, we should be around people who understand and accept our imperfections. Does that mean it won’t irritate them? No. Does that also mean they shouldn’t encourage you to be better? No. It means they won’t frustrate you with trying to change you. On the other hand, there are unique things about you that are not flaws but a wrong partner will magnify to make you believe they are flaws; don’t fall for it. Are you witty, broody, funny, a chatterbox, quiet or quirky? The right man will love this about you; don’t marry one who doesn’t appreciate your personality.
- None Of Your Family Or Friends Approves
Contrary to popular belief, not every disapproval from loved ones is out of jealousy or shallow. If one or two of your family or friends disapproves for no reason at all, you can ignore it. But if the majority don’t like your partner, it is grounds for investigation. You don’t have to completely accept their disapproval but don’t ignore it; listen to their concern and investigate before making any decision.
- You Know In Your Guts You Shouldn’t
Sometimes, you just know in your guts he is not the one you should marry. Don’t underestimate the power of instinct to guide you. The reason you are uneasy or don’t feel at peace with your decision to marry that man is worth investigating. Please, find out why you feel the way you do.
- You Are Not Happy
I mean, you shouldn’t be considering marrying a man with whom you are not happy. Marriage entails being with him for years to come. You should be spending those long years with a man that makes you happy. In this case, he might not even have done anything; maybe you just don’t feel an emotional connection with him. Don’t proceed out of pity for him because he is a good man. According to a wise man, you might be two good people but not good together; it is better not to force it.
This list is, in no wise, exhaustive but it will go a long way to helping you decide on whether to go ahead to marry your boyfriend or not.