A lot of people erroneously think women don’t need to be respected.
You hear so much talk about women needing love and not respect in relationships.
I, however, argue – and I think many women will agree with me that we all (men and women) want to be loved and respected. But because this false narrative has been peddled for many years, we find so many instances where men don’t respect their women.
Some of these men are a lost cause and you shouldn’t waste your time with them. But many of them just need to be taught what’s right.
So, as a woman, if you want to make a man respect you, I have highlighted different ways to make a man respect you.
How to Make a Man Respect You in A Relationship
Ever heard of the saying “respect begat respect” or “respect is reciprocal”? The same is true in romantic relationships.
For you to earn the respect you seek from your man, you need to also respect him.
There is no greater way to get respect from a person than to show the person the same level of respect.
So, it will be wrong to believe you can disrespect him and get him to respect you.
Some men, due to deeply ingrained cultural background, simply have no idea how to respect a lady.
Most of these men were wrongly taught to see women as inferior to them. It doesn’t automatically mean he is a lost cause; if he is willing, you can teach him to respect you.
However, make sure to be firm but polite. Remember also that old habits die hard and it is not easy to unlearn a long-standing behaviour. Therefore, leave room for making mistakes and applaud his little efforts.
For instance, if you don’t like the idea of him pressing his phone without your consent during your dates or quality time together, calmly explain how you feel the next time he does so.
Ensure you communicate without raising your voice, judging him or making him feel inadequate.
The next time you see him struggling to stay off his phone, you can give him a window period to press his phone before returning to the conversation or activity.
Also, when you notice him doing well, applaud him and if you can, reward him. This encourages him to do better.
Most of us don’t do so well with criticism as much as we do with encouragements.
Communicate Expressly to Him
You need to be straightforward and clear about how you feel; don’t drop unclear and fuzzy hints, expecting him to understand or expecting him to read your mind.
Rather, have an open conversation.
However, make sure to present the matter politely; the way something is said is just as important as how it is said.
You can start by acknowledging and applauding his efforts in the relationship before highlighting the pressing issue. You can cite examples of situations to help him understand the gravity of the issue without attacking his character.
Then ask to hear his opinion on the issue raised and encourage a discussion on the ways it can be addressed amicably.
Having a clear conversation makes him appreciate knowing the precise things to do to keep you happy in the relationship and this is so much better than leaving him up to guess your feelings.
Have a Mind of Your Own
One sure way to ensure disrespect in a relationship is if you are dependent on him for everything and don’t have a mind of your own.
It is a major turn-on for most men except for those who feel threatened by a woman’s success – a kind of man you don’t want to be with anyway.
In essence, do not rely on your man to make decisions for you. Sure, you can ask and acknowledge his opinion but your life shouldn’t be solely based and reliant on him.
Pursue other aspects of your life passionately, spend time with your friends and family and be a good support system to your man, not a clingy/needy one.
How to Make a Man Respect You After a Break-Up
Don’t Be Clingy
When a break up occurs, a sure way to keep your self-esteem is to let it go.
Respecting the decision of the man to call it quits – whether the decision was mutual or not – is the best way to make your ex respect you.
Being clingy or literally begging for the man to stay will make him disrespect you and even if he stays, it will most likely be an unhealthy relationship.
ALSO READ: SIGNS YOU ARE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Don’t Embark on a Revenge Mission
Some women engage in rebound relationships simply to taunt, tease, or rub it in the face of their ex and honestly, this just screams, ‘insecurity.’
I mean, these women are not necessarily into that relationship because they’ve found love again but because they want to show the guy what he’s missing or make him seemingly miserable.
If a guy has broken up with you, do yourself the service of staying out of his space, taking a break to heal and move on.
The last thing you want to do is stalking him on social media, sending cryptic messages or dating another out of spite.
It won’t do you good and it definitely will bring you disrespect.
Be a Cool Friend or Stay Friendly
Of course, this is for some situations, especially if it was mutual. It is not unheard of that lovers in the past come to be friends, best of friends even.
That a relationship comes to an end doesn’t mean there can’t be a successful platonic one.
In fact, studies have shown that most people ended a lovers’ relationship because they were clearly only meant to be friends and nothing more.
Therefore, if you are healed enough to be friends with your ex and the offer comes up, be cool about it and be friends.
When interacting, be confident and emotionally strong. It definitely fetches you a truckload of respect from the man.
Own Up to Your Mistakes
Most people tend to or are tempted to play the blame game whenever a breakup occurs and this leaves the other party feeling embittered or even resentful.
In order to avoid that and even gain respect, own up to your own mistakes; that is, the roles you played that led up to the breakup.
Admit your faults and take responsibility for your actions.
Bear in mind that going through this process is in no way geared towards getting back together (although, it could be).
Much more, it is to end things peacefully and learn, so you don’t repeat the same mistakes in your future relationship.
How to Make a Man Respect You at Work
Stand Your Ground
Many men – due to ingrained patriarchal mentality – consider women their subordinate and therefore, find it difficult to respect them as colleagues or even superior in the workplace.
Thus, your mere presence might threaten them and they will look for opportunities to belittle your work or ridicule your person.
This is why it is important for you to be prepared to meet some form of resistance and stand your ground.
In essence, set strong and clear boundaries from the get-go. You might have to give up the desire to be liked – that may come later – aim, instead to be respected.
To achieve this, you have to know your worth, own your stuff, be brilliant at your work and have confidence in the value you are offering.
ALSO READ: WAYS TO BUILD YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
Don’t take things Personally
As earlier mentioned, some men will want to push you to the extreme to know what stuff you are made of, in doing this, they may sound belittling or insulting.
When people are deliberately throwing jabs, you get to them when you pay them no mind.
No matter how whatever they do gets on your nerves, don’t give in to the temptation to throw up a tantrum or get emotional.
That’s exactly what they want and you don’t want to give them that satisfaction.
In essence, approach matters logically and with a cool disposition; don’t let them get under your skin.
In private, you can scream, cry or cuss all you want but when you are at your workplace, keep things as professional as you can.
Don’t be the Office Gossip Vine
Nobody likes someone who can’t keep what she is told in confidence.
If you are given to sharing every tidbit of information you hear or know about somebody, with others, no man will respect you for that.
Also, in a case of disagreement or conflict, never use or bring up in public what was shared with you in secret.
Besides that, stay away from others whose major role in the office is to talk about others; those who know everything about everybody and never mind their business.
You want to be seen as the woman who minds her business and does her job; not one that is in everybody’s business.
What to Do When He Doesn’t Respect You
Respect is one of the pillars of every successful relationship, therefore, when that is no more in the picture, the best thing to do is:
You deserve to be respected and valued in your relationship, if this ceases, you need to walk away from such a relationship.
If you stay, it gives room for emotional abuse which can batter your self-esteem and maim your personality or character.
It can also lead to resentment and self-destruction.
If he disrespected you intentionally, it is most likely that he doesn’t apologize.
Therefore, you want to ensure that he knows you feel disrespected and won’t be tolerating such act(s) in the future.
Even if he apologizes and you fail to let him know that you won’t be tolerating such a mistake again, you will only set yourself up for more disrespect because he’ll feel like he can do it and get away with it, thereby, riding roughshod over you and taking you for granted.
In essence, be clear and leave no room for further disrespect.
Respect yourself enough to choose yourself; to put yourself first, to choose not to settle for anything less than you deserve, to choose to love and care for yourself.
To choose yourself is a process that you continually work on and get better at.
To wrap up, you shouldn’t tolerate disrespect of any kind but the best way to make a man respect you – and in fact, get respect from anybody – is to be respectable and respect others.