If you are reading this, then it is most likely that you are experiencing the fizzling out of the honeymoon stage in your relationship.
Trust me, just in case you think there is a problem with your relationship, this is more common than you would think. The honeymoon phase of most relationships is always fun and exciting, however, as time goes on, the fun and excitement dwindle.
And in many cases, it is not so much that you or your partner experienced a big change, it is only that as the years go by, there isn’t much to explore, discover, or learn about each other, so you stop trying.
Now, let me say at this juncture that many relationships, unfortunately, don’t survive this but that doesn’t have to be your story.
You can come out from this; all you have to do is make your relationship more exciting again.
How? You might ask
Well, follow me as I take you through different tips to make your relationship more exciting again.
Tips to Make Your Relationship More Exciting Again
Rehash and Relive Memories
Whenever you feel that your relationship is at the stage where it is somewhat boring and you feel the ‘spark’ is low or gone, you need to take a walk down memory lane with your partner.
In essence, discuss activities you both engaged in when you started dating; places you visited, things you did that made your relationship exciting and stronger.
Make plans to relive these memories; visit the place you had your first date or where you were when you said yes to a relationship/marriage and you could also visit your favourite places.
It helps you rediscover your love and how you felt when you just started.
Communicate Intensely and Deeply
When couples settle into a routine, there is a tendency to stop discussing things that matter and just let life pass them by.
Now, of course, I am not invalidating the weight of the responsibilities that make people settle into a routine.
But keeping a relationship is hard work and you have to commit to doing the things that will make your relationship survive if it’s worth it.
So, yeah, make sure to make out time to talk; get to know each other again. People grow and evolve, so you just might not know your partner as much as you think.
Talk about your feelings – even the negative ones that your partner makes you feel, talk about dreams, aspirations, goals, challenges and even just what you both can do better in the relationship.
But besides that, you can talk about light and funny things to just have fun. The major thing is not to stop the flow of communication.
You can read how to communicate effectively with your partner for more on that.
Be Emotionally Vulnerable
Many couples were not afraid to discuss their flaws, weaknesses, expectations and so on at the beginning of their relationship, but as it progresses, due to one reason or the other, they shut themselves off and limit their discussions to mechanical issues.
To get back on track, you need to be honest about how you feel, what upsets you, makes you feel resentful, what you don’t like and feel a need to change, what frustrates or irritate you and so on.
In essence, don’t bottle up your feelings or emotions, express them as truthfully as you can without damaging the self-esteem of your partner and also leave room for your partner to do the same, bearing in mind that change is inevitable and expectations or likes are also subject to modification.
In essence, what you used to like or settle for, you might not, five years down the line.
Can it lead to conflict, arguments, disagreements or heated debates?
But they can serve as tools to bring both of you together; closer than before. This is definitely a better alternative to bottling things up and hoping someday, your partner will change.
However, that’s not all; being vulnerable also entails letting your partner see how you feel about them.
Sometimes, we get so defensive – out of fear – that we don’t give them room to actually see us and that’s not healthy for a relationship.
ALSO READ: SIGNS YOU ARE IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Try New Things
Remember how you used to try out new cafes or eateries? Or how you use to browse the net for beautiful vacation places?
You should definitely bring back that spirit.
Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort or routine life.
Commit to going on dates; take a walk on the beach, start texting or calling each other again, send cute love messages and emojis, hit the cinema and do other exciting stuff.
Basically, try to leave your comfort zone and seek new ways to have fun with your partner.
Be Genuinely Concerned About Your Partner’s Happiness
If you make a conscious effort to ensure that your partner is happy by finding out what makes them happy and doing it for or with them, it will be very helpful to your relationship.
It doesn’t even have to be big things. It could be something as simple as dancing around the house, cooking together, going camping, and the likes
These things help you spend more time together, thereby helping you connect and bond more.
What I am saying, in essence, is that you shouldn’t only focus on what your partner can do to make you happy but be concerned about their happiness as well.
Speak Your Partner’s Love Language
Sometimes, some people get frustrated out of putting so much effort into sustaining the spark in their relationship and it is just not working for their partner.
That could be because they are going about it the wrong way; they are speaking the wrong love language.
Imagine someone trying to talk to you in a language you have little or no understanding of; sooner or later, one of you will walk away in frustration.
This is the same way it works with love languages.
Everyone is believed to have a love language, that is, the best way they feel or want to be loved and when you express your love for your partner in a way different from how they expect, it might go unnoticed or unappreciated.
That is why it is important to know your primary love language and that of your partner’s.
For instance, if your love language is Act of Service, you always feel loved when your partner actively helps you out but your partner is giving you Words of Affirmation, you won’t appreciate it and it will leave your lover frustrated because they can’t seem to get through to you.
So, understanding each other and doing things for each other that align with your love language strengthens your relationship and makes it more exciting.
You should definitely read Gary Chapman’s book on the five love languages if you haven’t for a better understanding of the concept.
Assess and Evaluate your Relationship Occasionally:
Like earlier said, change is inevitable, therefore to ensure that you are on the same level of understanding with your partner, constantly ask questions that will give you more insight into their personality and expectations.
Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions; they only help to foster intimacy and growth and surely rekindle the newness you’re looking for in your relationship.
To Wrap Up
If you have ever wondered about the spark you once had in your relationship, it never left; it still there beneath the issues of life.
Therefore, it is up to you to dig through and find the spark that is lost in your relationship. It all depends on you and if you are willing to make your relationship more exciting again.