Gone are the days when people would be in a relationship and the number of people that would/could know was limited to their family, friends and probably members of the community that are paying attention.
Now, with the advent of social media, there is so much controversy on whether relationships should be kept private or not. And by private, we don’t mean keeping it a secret.
No, what we are talking about is whether to talk about it on social media or not. And if yes, what details should we share and what should we keep private?
Of course, some people might say we should leave people to do work for them and I’d agree 100%. However, I also believe that these discussions are necessary so people can make more informed choices.
So, you can read this post and decide you still want to make your relationship public, and your choice would be totally valid. After all, whether private or public, what matters is that the relationship is healthy and you are happy.
But if you still want to know what I think, you can keep reading as I’d be discussing some reasons to keep your relationship private.
Having said that, let’s get to it.
Reasons to Keep Your Relationship Private
Avoid Unnecessary Opinions
On social media, everyone feels the need to have an opinion on everything. But then again, when you think about it, if something is public, it could as well be free for all.
When we post anything about our life, we are giving everyone the opportunity to know about said thing and pass their opinions; positive or negative.
On the other hand, those who keep their relationship private don’t have to listen to pithy comments and be subjected to unsolicited advice from strangers.
That’s why it is advisable that if you have a pressing need to talk to another person outside of your relationship about issues or challenges, then talk to a trusted friend, family member or a therapist.
Most publicized relationships are projected as the perfect relationship when in truth no one talks about the not-so-sweet part of their relationship on social media.
Therefore, when such a relationship comes crashing down or ends – seemingly abruptly – people tend to be shocked and receive such news ungraciously.
Because of this, when your relationship is public, it puts you under pressure – whether subtle or directly – to continue idolizing the relationship and ‘keeping’ the image projected on social media.
And even when things are going wrong, you might be reluctant to admit it because you have created an image you don’t want to dispel – albeit unintentionally.
So, in order to avoid pressure from strangers, it might be best to keep your relationship as private as you can.
Makes Your Relationship More Special
Some people may not agree, but I believe that what is kept and preserved has more value. When your relationship is private, you can keep and cherish your moments without scrutiny.
It will not be about what the internet thinks about it but if you are both loving and enjoying it.
Also, when you do things outside of social media, it is usually more genuine and sincere and will likely be more valued and appreciated by your partner.
It makes it more special that it’s for them; not the public.
You Live in the Moment
Many times we miss beautiful moments because we are so bent on documenting them.
Now, I am not saying you shouldn’t capture fun moments because sometimes, we might want to refer back to them.
But when we focus more on capturing than enjoying it, we miss it. And more often than not, we are simply trying to capture it for strangers.
But people who are not so bent on publicizing the in and out of their relationship will be able to live more in the moment.
Keeps Private Information, Private
You don’t have the fear of people finding out about things you don’t want them to find out or things you have a change of heart about when you keep your relationship out of social media.
In essence, no linen – whether dirty or clean – is at the risk of being spread to the public’s scrutiny.
And, even if things don’t work out, you can lick your wounds in private and heal at your pace without having to deal with others.
Promotes a Healthy Relationship
Like I said earlier, keeping your relationship private doesn’t necessarily mean keeping it a secret.
It only means that the essence of your relationship is kept away from the prying eyes and opinions of others, especially strangers.
This way, you give your relationship room to thrive. You can make and create memories, grow at your pace, make mistakes and learn from them without the public involved.
Also Read: Signs You Are in a Healthy Relationship
Avoid Falling Into the Error of Playing to Social Media
Your relationship may have started out based on sincere love and affection between you and your partner.
But when you continually make things public, it is possible to begin to do things just for the validation and ovation from your followers.
And before you know it, your relationship gradually becomes less about you and your partner and more about the people on social media.
This can lead to a fallout between you and your partner or a mechanic relationship where the focus is on creating content. Of course, this probably doesn’t follow if you are a content creator.
But if you aren’t, it might be best to focus on the relationship and not the content you can create for the public.
Honour Your Partner
You might be very extroverted and might not have an issue making your relationship public. But what if that’s not what your partner wants?
Would you disregard their feeling just for likes? And even if they don’t mind things being public, surely, there are certain things that should be kept private.
Would it be honourable to your partner and your relationship if you are letting the public into every detail of your relationship?
That’s something, I believe, we all need to ask ourselves and think about.
Your Relationship will be Yours
The beauty of a private relationship is that you don’t have to do anything considering others but you and your partner.
You don’t have to think about how it will look to your friends, family members or social media followers; you only have to think about yourself and your partner.
Whereas in a public relationship, nothing really is sacred and nothing is yours; you are basically sharing your relationship with the public.
Now, let me end this by saying, I may sound like I’m saying we shouldn’t post our partners on social media at all.
But that’s not what I am saying because, I get that sometimes, you are just so in love with someone that you want to shout it on the rooftops. So, that’s not what I’m saying.
I am more tilted towards the “post your partner if you have to but try to limit the information you share with the public” school of thought.
I believe strongly that the public doesn’t need to know every tiny detail and some of these moments should be cherished and kept between the both of you.
However, at the end of the day, you know what’s best for you and might not agree with me.
I’d like to hear your thoughts though, so you can share them in the comment section below.