Will Smith clocked 50 recently – I think few weeks ago and he went for one historic jump around the Grand Canyon. But that’s not the story. I saw pictures and videos on his, his wife’s and ex-wife’s IG page.

Yeah, you read right, ex-wife.

Well, they have a blended family. A family so blended his ex-wife gets invited to stuff. That is not even amazing enough. Many years ago, when Oprah invited Will and his family to her show, she was there with the man she remarried. They all came along.

Now, Will and his ex are able to enjoy a beautiful friendship. What am I getting at with this?

Imagine if Will and the lady had known years back that they would make great friends and just stayed friends?

Sometimes when people say, marry your friend, it really isn’t ALWAYS the best idea.

I totally understand that on the one hand, they mean marry someone who can be your best friend and what not.

But on the other hand, people see a guy and a lady be friends and they just want them to start dating assuming they would make a great couple.

The logic there is if you guys are able to make friendship work so well, then you should be able to make a relationship work as well.

If you are in that situation, I will advise you to count your cost before going ahead.

Some people will always be better off as your friend. I know there are many friends I have that I cannot even afford to marry. After the honeymoon stage and real life beckons, we will not be able to make it work.

There are so many reasons but major ones are differences in core values. At the beginning when you guys still “like” each other, it always seems like you can conquer the world.

Then you start experiencing life issues and you see that the feelings you have cannot deal with those issues.

Friendship is very important in any relationship and marriage; that’s a given. But although, many say show me your friend and I will tell you who you are, we know that’s not always the case.

We all have friends, with whom, we enjoy beautiful friendship but we don’t agree with certain core values.

For instance, you may have a friend who has a conflicting religious belief from you, a friend who doesn’t want kids while you do, a friend who doesn’t believe in open marriage while you do, a friend who is not big on family while you are.

And while most of these differences don’t matter in friendship, they matter in a relationship and marriage. Friendship can work, in spite of these differences but marriage can hardly stand with these differences.

At the beginning, it will seem like your friendship and romantic feelings for each other will be able to surmount these differences but that’s just an illusion. These differences will always come up later and it can destroy the relationship.

So, while the world is seeing that you would make a great couple, you should ask yourself if you really would. Ask yourself if you are compatible when it comes to core values, so you don’t end up destroying each other.

A lot of people don’t know this but loving someone does not always mean being together, loving someone can also mean loving them enough not to damage them because you know that’s what coming together would do.

People fall in love and they lose touch with reality when in fact, falling in love actually should give you more insight, make you wiser and smart.

Some people are simply just not meant to be more than friends, You need ask yourself, “is this romantic or friendship?

It is not because they are bad (when you say no to people, that’s the first thing that comes to their mind, that you think they are bad people).

But like Tyler Perry said, it could just mean, “we are good people, we are just not good together.”

 

romantic or friendship

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