A while back I wrote an article on understanding women better at the request of one of my male readers. As I mentioned in that article, he reached out to me to write an article for men to understand women better.
I found the request interesting but valid considering the number of times I have heard men say they don’t understand women because women are complicated creatures who don’t seem to know what they want.
I addressed my opinion on the above belief in that article. However, I figured women could also use some help in understanding men better as well.
Funny enough, both genders consider the other frustrating and difficult to please.
First, I will say this stems from the fact that both men and women are not communicating effectively enough. Most women will rather be quiet and expect the man to know what’s going on in their head while men have been taught not to show emotions, so they don’t express their emotional needs often.
This culture of silence has made us think the other gender is complicated because we can’t seem to figure each other out.
Secondly, we have bought into the myth that men and women are different when in fact, we are not as different as we like to think. But when we are in a relationship, we are usually expecting our partner to behave in a certain way based on what we have come to expect from that gender.
When they don’t behave expectedly and coupled with the silence, we get frustrated.
Now, for the question you came here for; how do I understand men better?
You cannot understand men better; that is an impossible and, not to mention, unnecessary task.
How is it possible that you want to take on the task of understanding the billions of men in the world? Can you see where I am going with this? It is not possible because you have to know someone to understand them.
What you should be worried about is understanding your man; your man is an individual and contrary to what society thinks, he is a unique individual.
Rather than bother yourself about men; worry about knowing your man.
One of the mistakes most of us make is going to a relationship assuming we know how men are and so, while we learn his likes, dislikes and values, we don’t care to know what makes him tick because we feel we know men.
When you start a relationship, treat your man like you would a course you are studying in the first year of college. Take the time to learn and know him in order to understand your man.
You can do this by observing him and you don’t even have to have great observation skills to achieve this. When you are interested in someone, observing them and figuring them out will come naturally if you put your mind to it.
You would also have to encourage him to talk by listening without interruptions or judgement and asking him questions.
That way, you will not only know your man, you will influence him to know you as well.