The first thing you need to know is that; there is nothing wrong with you.
You are not foolish or slow; you are just in love with someone who is untrustworthy. Even the best of us get played sometimes and it might be difficult to recognise it because we are in love.
When we are in love, we tend to see with a veil and that is why I am here to help you look at your relationship and see if you are getting played.
Is he/she playing me is a question we have all asked ourselves at some point in our relationship.
If we could read minds, it would be a lot easier but since we cannot, we can always check their actions.
I strongly believe that nobody can act for long; even award-winning actors only act for a period of time.
So, there are certain actions that are peculiar to players even if they start out sweet at the beginning.
What are the ways to know you are getting played in a relationship?
They Avoid Talking About the Future
A player is not interested in the future; they are simply interested in the now. So, obviously, they avoid any talk of the future.
Most people go into relationships with the hope it will end in marriage and for those who don’t desire marriage, they will most likely still want a long-term commitment with the one they love.
But if there is absolutely no talk of the future or they are usually vague and elusive when it is brought up, it is very likely that you are being played.
They Are Inconsistent
If someone is inconsistent with their ways and words, they are most likely lying and it is a huge red flag to watch out for.
People who are honest are not inconsistent with their words and their actions align with their words. Inconsistent people are mostly dishonest people who have something to hide.
You are likely being played if everything or most things they say don’t align. It should be a cause for concern and worth investigating.
They Refuse to Introduce You to Their Friends and Family
When someone loves you, while they might indeed lead private lives and not talk about it on social media, they will want to tell their loved ones about you.
It is unnatural to be in love and not want to share that information with loved ones. You should find out why they are keeping you a secret.
Even if they have no family or are estranged from family, at least, they have friends and they should want to introduce you to them if they love you.
They Have No Interest in Meeting Your Friends and Family
On the other hand, anybody that loves you and wants a future with you will be interested in meeting your loved ones.
In fact, they will not only be curious about the people in your life, but they will also push for an introduction.
Players usually have no interest in meeting the people in your life because they are not planning to stay for long.
So, they will try as much as possible to avoid any entanglement and that includes your family and friends.
Your Happiness Is Not a Priority
Nobody can always make you happy; that is too much pressure on another human being.
However, you shouldn’t settle for anybody who doesn’t consider your happiness when they make decisions or prioritise your happiness.
One of the signs you are being played in a relationship is if you are with a person who doesn’t bother whether you are happy or not.
You Carry the Relationship
It takes two to tango; a healthy relationship is one of two people who are both making efforts in giving and compromising.
If you are in a relationship where you are the only one calling, texting, giving, making efforts and bending, you are most likely being played in the relationship.
Your Relationship Is Restricted to the Bedroom
Players really have nothing to offer; most times they want to get your money or they just want s*x from you.
A player will not want to take you on dates or date you in public; they are usually only comfortable being indoors with you.
I am an introvert, so I understand preferring to stay at home. But even introverts like to go out from time to time.
You should be very worried if your relationship is restricted to the bedroom.
None of Your Family and Friends Like Them
When we are in a relationship, we are likely too “in love” to see beyond the bubble we have wrapped ourselves in.
It is very possible to have one or two family members or friends that don’t like your partner but when most or all of them don’t like the person, it is worth investigating.
It doesn’t mean you should automatically break up, but you should definitely take a step back to find out why they don’t like the person.
These people have known you longer and they love you; you shouldn’t discard their feelings concerning your partner without investigating.
Your Intuition Says You Are Getting Played
Our intuition is very strong but when we don’t like what it is saying, we are likely to ignore it.
If only we listen to it, we won’t be in half the mess we usually find ourselves in.
Like I always say, you don’t have to make a rash decision but make sure you, at least, find out why you feel the way you do.